Dearest Readers,
The last poem in Separation and Divorce was written in September of 2023, eleven months after the very first one.
For me, it signaled the beginning of a new season, just like today does.
I have cared for myself through some of the hardest days of my life, and I have been held by the people who love and support me.
I count all of you reading this among them.
You’ll never know the ways that your reading of these words healed me, far more than writing them ever could.
Thank you.
Your Grateful Poet,
Shiny ✨
P.S. If you loved these poems, or want to share them with someone, please order the book here.
A New Season September 27
I am switching out my summer clothes today,
preparing for another new season.
Around this time last year,
I had to ask you in an email
to help me with them;
a year ago today
was the last day we slept in the same room,
the same bed,
the last day I didn’t have to act
like you were a former acquaintance.
I remember wishing everything would happen fast.
I remember the mediator noticing that all I wanted
was for the pain to stop.
I remember that it didn’t.
I remember how much it hurt,
staring at food in the kitchen
and being unable to eat,
feeling unmoored,
abandoned,
lost.
I remember beginning to take care of myself,
slowly and gently,
then deliberately, religiously.
I remember leaning on my friends.
I remember giving up alcohol for months,
so I’d never do something without a clear head.
I remember having to see you,
over and over,
and that it really was like someone taking a knife to my heart.
For months, I looked — I was —
tired and sad.
But slowly, steadily,
I got strong.
I smiled,
laughed,
emerged.
My spirit could handle more
than I ever thought possible.
I lost you,
but I didn’t lose myself.
I was in the dark
for such a long time,
but I learned there.
I learned how strong I am.
I began to trust myself.
I began to sing,
dance,
shine.